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Hey Arnold!: The Jungle Movie/Quotes
Arnold :I know, Grandpa. "Don't go in there for a while." Grandpa :(tossing Arnold's hair) Ho ho! Ya know me so well, short man. Arnold :Did you wash your hands? :(Timpani shot.) Grandpa :I knew I forgot somethin'. (walks back in) ---- Grandpa :(referring to Arnold's parents) Oh, I'm sorry, Arnold. I miss them, too. But I'm glad you get to see them even if it's only in a dream. Oh, but it's better than the nightmare I'' keep havin'. I live in a rundown old boarding house, renting my rooms to a bunch o' weirdos who always want things from me. ---- 'Mr. Hyunh' :A pig eating bacon? It's very creepy. ---- 'Gerald' :Hey, Arnold, ready for the best day of school? '''Arnold' :The best day, Gerald? Gerald :Yeah. Today's the last day of school. Therefore, by my calculations... Arnold :It's the best day. ---- Arnold :San Lorenzo? The San Lorenzo? Harold :Is that the new Mexican restaurant? Stinky :Naw. That place has been there a while. Mr. Simmons :Close, Stinky. It's a beautiful, proud republic to our south. This is where we'll go if we win the contest. Harold :To a Mexican restaurant! ---- Gerald :(repeated line) Mm-mm-mm! ---- Mr. Simmons :Never fear. I have every minute planned out for this trip. Getting anyone lost is definitely not on this agenda! Grandpa :Mmm, you ever travel with a dozen kids before? ---- Arnold :I know this video wouldn't have happened without you, Gerald. I can't thank you enough! Gerald :You should thank Helga. This was her idea. You should see all the videos she has of— Helga :Of the things! Ha, around the city, amazing! Anyway, it's done. We're going to San Lorenzo. Arnold :Wow! Thank you, Helga! :(Arnold puts his hand on Helga's shoulder, causing her to get a buzzing sensation and hear fireworks.) Helga :(happily) Oh-ho! And I... have to go wash my socks! ---- Grandma :(holding a handmade blowpipe) Venture forth armed with this, Kimba. Grandpa :Pookie! Arnold will never get a handmade blowpipe through security! Oh, and, uh... (rummaging through Arnold's drawer, takes out a stapler) Here, short man. Take this instead. It'll remind you of home. Arnold :Um, thanks? ---- Mr. Simmons :Harold, why do ya have a deli platter? Harold :My mom gave me this in case there's no food in San Lorenzo. Mr. Simmons :There's plenty of food there, Harold. No platter necessary. Harold :No platter? ---- Grandpa :Arnold, you're going to the jungle. So don't catch any tropical diseases like malaria, or diphtheria, or cholera, or yellow fever, or hookworm, or elephantitis, or leprocy, or tennis elbow... Arnold :(yelps) Grandpa :...or itchy armpits, or boom-boom fever, or Alder's neck rash! Crewman :(to Grandma) Hey, crazy lady! Get outta my stair truck! Grandma :(laughs dementedly) Grandpa :...or Palmer's knee, or Borneo's disease, or... I don't know... athlete's foot! Arnold :(off-screen) Y'know, I'm really gonna miss Grandma and Grandpa. ---- Rhonda :(gasps) My hair! Nadine :You know what they say, Rhonda. "It's not the heat. It's the humidity." ---- Harold :Is there a toilet on this boat?! ---- Harold :I love buff-ets! ---- Helga :(gags) Time to feed the fish! Harold :Hey! ¡Ocupado! ---- Arnold :This whole trip's been about one thing. I want to find my lost parents, but I feel like I'm about to put us all in— Helga :Yeah, yeah, I know all about your parents. How do you feel about me? Arnold :Huh? Helga :You wouldn't even be here without me! Oh, Arnold, I may act like I don't care! I may even say I hate you, but that's a cover! I actually do care about you. Arnold :Huh? Helga :Oh don't play dumb, Arnold. You know what I'm talking about! You're like some weird old wise man, for crying out loud! I know you can handle the truth, and I can, too! Arnold :What are you talking about!? Helga :I'm talking about the fact that I really like you, Arnold, like thunder likes lightning, like faces like fists! You know, like-like! In fact, I lo— Arnold :(gasps) There's a boat coming! ---- Mr. Simmons :Oh, dear, a pirate attack? Not on the agenda! ---- Olga :Fight hard, Che! (squeals) But don't hurt your runway-quality chiseled face! ---- Eugene :Is the habitat a short walk from here? Eduardo :Oh, no. No, it's many, many... many miles... over rough trails. Rhonda :Oh, that is such bad news. Eduardo :Through steep muddy jungle... Rhonda :Ugh! Just got worse! Eduardo :But then it smooths out... Students :(gasp) Eduardo :And becomes an enormous swamp. Students :(groan) ---- Helga :We didn't sign up for this, Arnold, but you knew that already. Now we're literally up the river without a stinking paddle! ---- Eduardo :Um, eh... may I have your attention? There's been a misunderstanding, which I would like to correct. I am not Eduardo. :(He takes off his fake mustache to reveal...) Lasombra :I am Lasombra! Students :(gasp) Lasombra :And you are now my prisoners! :(The gates close shut as Che drags Arnold away.) Arnold :No! Lasombra :And you will remain my prisoners until this football-headed boy shows me where to find the Corazón. ---- Arnold :How could you? Lasombra :Easy, see? (playing with his fake mustache) Eduardo, Lasombra, Eduardo, Lasombra, Abraham Lincoln, Frida Kahlo. Easy. ---- Rhonda :Yeah, yeah, yeah, I have a question. Does this dump get Wi-Fi? Lasombra :Yes. Rhonda :(gasps) Lasombra :But I'm not giving you the password. Rhonda :You monster! Lasombra :(beat) How did you guess? (to burly guard) Go change it to the other password! And don't forget to write it down this time! ---- Mr. Simmons :You've got Benedict, Arnold! Benedict Arnold was a general who defected to the other si— Students :We know, Simmons! ---- Curly :Psst! Do you need an inside man? I can be the camp snitch. Wink. Lasombra :Sorry, kid. You are too loco even for us villains. ---- Helga :Next chance I get, I'm knockin' that dingus, Arnold, into next week! ---- Helga :Oh, Arnold. You poor, tortured creature. Having known the depths of your despair, I wouldn't have left your side in your time of loneliness! If ever you needed my love, it's now, and you have it, forever and always. I must do anything, make any sacrifice, to help you find your parents! Oh, Arnold, you magnificent specimen! I'm coming for you! :(Helga reaches inside her shirt for her locket, before remembering what she did with it.) Brainy :(wheezes) Uh, Helga? :(Brainy holds in his hands the locket, with the picture of Arnold restored.) Helga :Brainy? Ohhh! I could hit you! (She kisses him instead) Mwah! :(Brainy just stands confused, but then gets out some pan pipes and dances merrily.) ---- Phoebe :See you on the other side... (kisses Gerald on the cheek) ...handsome. ---- Arnold :(taking out stapler) Grandpa said this would come in handy. :(Arnold successfully snatches the keys from the guard's hand and replaces it with the stapler. He unlocks the door with ease. Suddenly the guard wakes up.) Flunky Guard :Oh, what? What are you—? Why are you—? :(Helga knocks the guard out with the stapler.) Helga :Grandpa was right, Football Head. ---- Helga :Ah! Well, now that you dragged us to stinkin' San Nowhere-zo, how do we find these Green-Eyes? Arnold :Don't worry. I've got a map, and according to my dad's journal, the Green-Eyes live somewhere around here. (points to the area labeled "Unknown") Come on! Helga :Cute. He's got a map. ---- Big Bob :Beepers are freaking out. I don't get it. What does—What does "505-808" mean? Miriam :Oh, that's beeper code for "SOS, Bob." "SOS" means "help". Big Bob :I know what "SOS" means, but who would want my help now, Miriam? Miriam :Aren't the girls on a field trip? Big Bob and Miriam :(gasp) Olga! :(They run out of the store and into Bob's Hummer.) Miriam :Oh, and the other one! Big Bob :Oh, right, right, Helga! ---- Grandpa :Abner?! Abner :(desperate squeal) Grandpa :How in the Toledo did you get here? Grandma :Oh, my! W-W-What happened? Abner :(squealing) :(Flashback revealing Abner diving out of the boat.) Grandma :What? Abner :(continues grunting) :(In the flashback, Abner swims to shore, only to be pursued by a water snake.) Grandma :No! Abner :(continues grunting) Grandma :(gasps) No! :(In flashback, Baner takes a ride with a bunch of bandits.) Abner :(squeals) Grandma :Are you kidding me?! Abner :(continues grunting) :(In flashback, in a Tom and Jerry-esque fashion, the snake hitches onto the back spare tire of the bandits' Jeep.) Grandma :There's no way that happened. Abner :(continues grunting) :(In the flashback, Abner leaps onto the wheel of a plane, still being chased by the snake, which also latches onto the wheel.) Grandma :Oh, my stars! Abner :(continues grunting) Grandma :Well, you are blowing my mind! Abner :(continues grunting) :(In the flashback, Abner is seen riding first class, being offered a shrimp cocktail.) Grandma :Well, then what— Abner :(continues grunting) Grandma :Oh, what? Abner :(continues grunting) :(Somehow, the snake is seen riding coach. Back to Sunset Arms.) Grandma :They serve shrimp cocktail in first class? Grandpa :Ya came all the way to tell us about shrimp cocktail? ---- :(Wipe to reveal the Hummer pulling up to a fancy small plane.) Grandpa :Wow! Fancy plane! The beeper business must be booming! Big Bob :Oh. No, that's not us. This is. :(Pan right to reveal a run-down old plane with the words "Rent Me" on the wing.) Abner :(squeals) ---- Arnold :Good thinking, Helga! You're brilliant! Helga :(lovingly) Oh! (back to mean) Well, at least one of us can read! ---- Helga :Did I say it was okay to touch me?! ---- Lasombra :(to Pirate #2) Please. You first. Pirate #2 :No, Jefe! You first. Lasombra :No, no, no, I insist. (draws a sword threateningly) You first. :(The pirate steps and falls through.) Pirate #2 :Shouldn't have gone first!!! ---- Gerald :Mm-mm-mm. Arnold, this statue sure looks a lot like you. Helga :Hmm. I gotta say, it's not half-bad. I've seen better. ---- Mr. Simmons :Class, with a little ingenuity, we can transform tragedy into a teachable moment. :(Pull out to reveal he is literally teaching a class full of monkeys.) Mr. Simmons :Okay, class, listening ears! :(The guards laugh at the unhinged teacher.) Phoebe :Well, so much for adult supervision. ---- Sid :Air guitar! Harold :Look at me! I'm a distraction! ---- Phoebe (voiceover) :Next, unleash the Curly! Curly :FREE THE ANIMALS IN THE ZOO!!! ---- Grandma :(parachuting down) Geronimo! Grandpa :Sacagawea! Big Bob :Gesundheit! ---- Olga :Oh, Daddy, that boy was mean to me! :(Bob rages and attacks Che.) Big Bob :You and me are gonna go round and round! ---- Eugene :I'm like the big ball in that movie! ---- Green-Eyed children :Arnold... Helga :Yeah, yeah. (imitating the children) "Arnold..." We get it! ---- Gerald :Do you notice anything strange about this place? There are no grownups here. Helga :That's the weird part?! ---- Arnold :Please, can you help us? Helga :(aside, to Gerald) You don't suppose she hablas inglés? Gerald :I got this. Hey, girl. How's it goin'? (The Girl Queen walks right by Gerald and takes Arnold's hand.) Helga :What the-? Gerald :Man, why can't I'' ever be the chosen one? ---- '''Girl Queen' :Parqa main kukui, Lasombra! Lasombra :So you've heard of me. How flattering. Well, I am infamous. ---- Helga :Where are our friends? Lasombra :(taking the treasure) Ah, don't worry. My guards are keeping an eye on them. Speaking of which, who is guarding this place? Wait. You are all children. Helga :Uh, doi! Welcome to five minutes ago! ---- Arnold :No! You can't take their things! Lasombra :You're right. Why take anything when I could bring people here and sell it to them? I could charge admission! I can see it now: "Hidden-City Land." (gets knifed in the back) Ow! How dare you? Ah! (gets bombarded by the kids) You meddling— You don't understand capitalism! ---- Gerald :I want to unsee that! ---- Arnold :Eduardo! It's really you? Eduardo :Hello, my— Helga :Wait! Not another "Eduardo!" "Your parents' trusted friend with a mustache?" Ha! I've heard that before! Why should we trust him? Eduardo :You are welcome to climb back down. ---- Lasombra :So, you finally caught up to us, Eduardo! You call that a mustache? ---- Eduardo :(sighs) He died the way he lived. Full of poison. --- Gerald :One question? How are we gonna get back over there? Eduardo :Um, I prefer the stone bridge myself. :(Pan left to reveal a stone bridge.) Gerald :Well, all right, then. ---- Arnold :(gasps) Dad? Mom? It's me. Helga :Arnold... Arnold :Are they... Eduardo :No, no. It's the sleeping sickness, from over nine years ago. ---- Arnold :Helga, what are you doing? Helga :This must be it! You were supposed to put the heart of gold here, and then, well, something would happen. I'm not a scientist. ---- Helga :I... might have something that would work. (reveals her locket) It's, uh, a heart. I think it could fit. This is just gold-''plated''. It's not a very pure heart. Arnold :I don't know. I think your heart... is more pure than you know. ---- Helga :You are such a football head. ---- Miles and Stella :Hey... Arnold. ---- Stella :Looks like you finished the work we started, Arnold. Miles :I'm so proud of you, son. Gerald :Mm-mm-mm, now I've seen everything! ---- Arnold''' :Hey, Helga. Helga :Ah! Hey, Arnold. :(The arrow Helga was using drops and she kicks it away.) Arnold :Helga, I've known you my whole life practically, and you've always been angry and... and kinda... y'know, mean. Helga :Yeah! So? Arnold :But... I've also seen you be really loyal and super brave. So I always wondered if maybe you were mean to me because... well, you loved me? Helga :Love? You? Well, yeah, sure, I mean, like I love a root canal! Haha! Arnold :Listen, I know you tried to tell me before, and I wasn't ready to hear it. But now, this whole thing: the trip to San Lorenzo, getting away from Lasombra, finding my parents... it's all 'cause of you. Your locket. Helga :Locket? What locket? :(The locket falls out of the wheel.) Arnold :Your locket. It woke up my parents. You did it all just to help me, and... and... :(Arnold holds Helga's hands and kisses her. Helga's foot lifts up into the air.) Gerald :Mm-mm-''mmm!'' :(Arnold and Helga pull away from each other as Helga whistles innocently.) Gerald :Okay. Now I've seen everything! ---- Miles :Breakfast is served! Eggs in a basket! Grandma :Don't you mean toad-in-a-hole? Stella :We call it eggs in a basket. Ernie :Finally, someone with some sense around here! Grandpa :No disrespect, but you've both been asleep for ten years. What do you know about breakfast? ---- Arnold :(laughs) Mom! Dad! You're really back! Miles and Stella :Hey, Arnold! Miles :Were you having that same dream again where you never found us? Arnold :Yeah, the same dream I've been having all summer. Stella :It's no dream, Arnold. You really came and rescued us, and now we're really back home with you. What do you say we go on an adventure today? I read that the city botanical gardens has a new rainforest exhibit. Arnold :Sounds great, but... it's actually the first day of school. Stella :Oh, of course! We knew that. Miles :Sure. We're hip. ---- Grandma :Who is that cute little blonde boy? ---- Gerald :Well, Arnold, you ready for the worst day of school? Arnold :You mean the first day of school? Gerald :That's what I said. Arnold :Come on, Gerald, look at the bright side. We're in sixth grade now. How bad could it be? ---- Miles and Stella :Hey Arnold! Stella :Can we walk with you to school? Miles :Yeah, we already miss you! Arnold :(laughs) Sure, Mom and Dad! ---- Mr. Simmons :I still have a job! ---- (final lines) Miles :When will you be done? :(The school bell rings.) Arnold :Uh, 3:30. Stella :We'll be waiting right here. :(Arnold walks into the school and the doors close on Miles and Stella.) Category:Hey Arnold!: The Jungle Movie Category:Quotes